Obama Continuing Bush Anti-Small Business Policies

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
April 27, 2009

Obama Continuing Bush Anti-Small Business Policies

Petaluma, Calif. – President Barack Obama has outraged small business
owners across the country by continuing Bush Administration policies
that divert federal small business contracts to Fortune 500 firms.

Since 2003, over a dozen federal investigations have been released,
which found billions of dollars in federal small business contracts
have actually wound up in the hands of some of the largest firms in
the United States and Europe.
(http://cts.vresp.com/c/?AmericanSmallBusines/d36927e227/3df3f02a0f/fedaad5b39

In 2005, the SBA’s own Office of Inspector General referred to the
diversion of federal small business contracts to corporate giants as,
“One of the most important challenges facing the Small Business
Administration and the entire Federal government today.” (
http://cts.vresp.com/c/?AmericanSmallBusines/d36927e227/3df3f02a0f/42aff84ebf

The nation’s largest newspapers have all covered the story along with
major television networks such as ABC, CBS and CNN. (ABC,
http://cts.vresp.com/c/?AmericanSmallBusines/d36927e227/3df3f02a0f/aaa83a1180
CBS,
http://cts.vresp.com/c/?AmericanSmallBusines/d36927e227/3df3f02a0f/4ffa18cdba
CNN,
http://cts.vresp.com/c/?AmericanSmallBusines/d36927e227/3df3f02a0f/359514d000/id=1170)

In February of 2008, during the Presidential campaign, President Obama
promised to end the abuses when he released the statement, “It is time
to end the diversion of federal small business contracts to corporate
giants.”
(http://cts.vresp.com/c/?AmericanSmallBusines/d36927e227/3df3f02a0f/94a85aba68

To date, President Obama has consistantly refused to propose any
policies or legislation to address the issue. President Obama refused
to include any solutions to the issue in any of his small business
rescue and stimulus plans. Since President Obama has taken office,
approximately $2 billion a week in federal small business contracts
have gone to Fortune 500 firms and thousands of other large
businesses.
(http://cts.vresp.com/c/?AmericanSmallBusines/d36927e227/3df3f02a0f/a2f7b5e478

According to the latest U.S. Census Bureau statistics 98 percent of
all U.S. firms have less than 100 employees. These firms employ over
50.4 percent of the private sector workforce and create over 97
percent of all new jobs in America. President Obama promised to create
millions of new jobs in America, but so far, the small businesses that
create the lion’s share of new jobs have not seen one dime of federal
stimulus funds under any of President Obama’s stimulus plans.

Now, in addition to being shut out of all federal stimulus funds,
small businesses are losing billions of dollars in federal small
business contracts every month. President Obama has consistently
refused to make good on his February 2008 campaign promise to stop the
flow of federal small business contracts to corporate giants.

Small business owners and advocates are disappointed and angered that
President Obama has decided to continue the Bush Administration’s
anti-small business policies. Even in the face of the highest national
unemployment statistics in 26 years, President Obama is still refusing
to make good on his most important campaign promise to America’s 27
million small businesses.

-###-

Contact:
Christopher Gunn
Communications Director
American Small Business League
cgunn@asbl.com
(707) 789-9575

If you go to Amazon.com and type in a request for “books on selling” you will receive over 5,000 selections to choose from. They range from, “how to sell more,” to “overcoming objections,” to “building rapport,” and so on. Most of these books proclaim some kind of proprietary selling system or specific process aimed at improving sales results.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I think that spending time understanding the selling process is bad. I have read a good number of these books myself and have even had some of these authors, trainers and business leaders as guests on my radio show. I believe that it is critical to understand and practice the “selling process.” I, myself teach how to integrate this process into business relationships every week in the Dale Carnegie Sales Advantage Class. The Carnegie organization has done a fabulous job of developing a powerful yet practical process for selling improvement. I am honored to be a sales instructor and encourage folks to check it out.On the other hand if you were to go to Amazon.com and enter a request for books on “BUYING” you would receive less than 100 books. Why is that? Is it more important that we understand the “selling” process or the “buying” process?Wouldn’t you agree that if we can better understand the process that the buyer goes through that we would be more able to align our thinking with theirs? It is for this reason that I have spent considerable time developing a system for analyzing the process of making a decision to buy a particular product or service. Of course this process is 99% subconscious. Yet I came to the conclusion that this process existed by looking closer at why there is so much friction or resistance in the buying process. In other words, why often times buyers will resist buying simply because the salesperson is attempting to sell?A Matter of TrustLet’s face it most would agree that the biggest challenge that business people face when attempting to persuade others is gaining their TRUST. Trust is a rare commodity these days. Information is flying at us at a staggering rate and we are preoccupied with decoding all kinds of redundant messages at the expense of building trusting relationships. Consequently business people today are more savvy, suspicious and selective than ever before.I have often found that salespeople or even business people in the selling role try to move the customer to take action too quickly and thereby push that customer away. Maybe forever. They not only lose the sale but they lose credibility, damage their rapport with the customer and gain the reputation of being too pushy.For this reason customers are hesitant to take action until they have passed through the first eight stages of the “Buying Decision Process.” When we understand and practice recognizing this process, we can more accurately satisfy customer’s needs at each stage of the process and thereby be the person that helps them to move through each stage of the process. Of course when we help them move through the process we are also earn the right to help them take action.The Nine Stages of the “Buying Decision Process:”Here’s how the process works:Stage 1: Become Aware of Change
Stage 2: Recognize Deficiency
Stage 3: Experience Pain
Stage 4: Seek a Remedy
Stage 5: Encounter Influence
Stage 6: Establish Buying Criteria
Stage 7: Identify Options
Stage 8: Make a Brand Selection
Stage 9: Take ActionStage 1: Become Aware of Change
Let’s look at them individually now. The first stage is that the customer is aware of change. These may be external changes in the market place or internal changes within their company. Something is changing. We can help them to address this change by making them more aware of what is happening around them and perhaps showing them that they are not alone. Other folks in their industry or profession are facing the same kind of changes. This increases familiarity, builds credibility and reduces friction in the relationship. One day I was driving home and noticed that the houses on my block looked newer than mine. I wasn’t sure why but it seemed they were changing. The reality was that they were staying the same and it was MY home that was changing. We will see how shortly.Stage 2: Recognize Deficiency
The next stage is that the buyer begins to recognize some sort of deficiency. They begin to relate the “changes” to what they are missing. They realize that they are “lacking” something. Others seem to have it and they don’t. It could be more sales, profit, a better company culture or just about anything under the sun. Remember that change that I thought was taking place to the homes on my block? Well, I drove up my driveway the next day and looked closely at my house. What I noticed was that the other homes looked newer than mine because my home needed a paint job.Stage 3: Experience Pain
During the next stage the buyer begins to experience “pain.” As many of my clients, students, listeners and weekly readers know, I am fond of saying that there is no change without pain. I say pain but in reality it could simply be discomfort or unease. Surely I was not in physical pain when I discovered that my house needed painting but it did produce some discomfort. Sometimes the “pain” is more of a “pain in the neck.” In this stage the buyer realizes how much it could hurt to remain in their “unchanged” state.Stage 4: Seek Remedy
It is at this point that the buyer decides to seek some sort of remedy. The “pain” of the “unchanged” state has become MORE than the pain of change. For me there was some “pain” or discomfort in getting my house painted. I had to part with some serious coin, find a reputable company, clear the specifics with the community group and invest time in a myriad of logistical elements to make the paint job happen. But the pain of looking at my dull and paint-chipped home was getting to be greater than the pain of planning and financing the paint job.Stage 5: Encounter Influence
At this stage the buyer comes in contact with people, data or things that may influence their decision. In fact at this stage people seem to be tuned into noticing the things that influence their decision. Have you ever made the decision to buy a particular type of car and then all of a sudden you start seeing those cars everywhere? This is called “reticular activity.” It is an area of the brain that is responsible for non-cognitive or subliminal memory. I found myself driving home from work just a few days after noticing the paint peeling on my house and everywhere I turned there was a paint truck. I also noticed that one of my neighbors just painted his home and I asked him who did the job.Stage 6: Establish Buying Criteria
At this stage the buyer begins to transfer the emotional needs to more logical needs. They assemble the criteria that will be required to fill the need. For example I began to think about what my criteria should be for the company that would paint my house. They needed to have scaffolding because my home is located on as sharp grade. They needed to bonded and insured to avoid any contingent liability. They needed to have experience in my neighborhood and so on. I began to build a logic defense mechanism for making my selection.Stage 7: Identify Options
During this stage the buyer conducts an active search for a solution that fits the criteria. I began talking to friends to develop a list of some of the best painting companies in my area. When I put the list together I initiated contact or let others know that I was interested.Stage 8: Make a Brand Selection
In this stage the buyer limits their decision to the brands that satisfy the criteria and sooth the “pain.” The fact that I found a painting contractor that met all my logical criteria is only part of what drove me to make my selection. The larger fact was that the owner of this company actually took me for a walk up and down my block pointing out different home and discussing the pros and con’s of each paint job. He asked me a great deal of questions and determined that my motive was more than just fixing the peeling paint, preserving my investment or saving money. He knew that keeping up with the Jones was important to me. He found that out by recognizing where I was in the buying decision process.Stage 9: Take Action
In the final stage the buyer takes action. The most interesting thing about the paint company that I selected was that they were the first company to visit me nearly 3 months before I decided to “take action” on the paint job. The owner kept in touch me at every stage of the buying process. He didn’t try to PUSH me to take action. He found paint chips for me to look at. He sent me a few before and after pictures of some homes he completed, he gave me names of a few people who’s homes he painted in my neighborhood and he showed a genuine interest in helping me with the decision. He truly WON the business by putting me first and the decision to take action last.Think about your own business. How can you better understand where your customers are in their buying decision process? How can you address them at every stage of the process? How can you help your prospects and customers to recognize what is changing around them? How is that causing them deficiency? What is their “pain?” What can you do to create reticular activity for those that are in the “Influence” stage?Ultimately we can’t push anyone to take action. Taking action will happen of its own accord. We can however make a greater effort to understand our customers, their environment, their concerns and their motives. In doing so we will build long-term relationships that produce greater value and profit for all.

Lots of organizations TALK about their company culture or investigate ways to change the culture. Clearly that is a good thing. But family businesses have a built-in need to ensure constant cultural change. You see when subsequent generations succeed ownership of the business they tend to lead differently.

Sometimes those differences are massive and at other times they are subtle but the team members can be very confused or even incensed over how that change occurs.  They may feel unimportant or underappreciated or o the other hand they may see it as an opportunity to manipulate leadership to “get what they want.” This can have a deleterious effect over the client relationship since it is our team members that are dealing with the client on a daily, weekly monthly basis. This happens with the sales team, account management, customer service, technical services and even accounts receivable, accounts payable and even the receptionist.

Often time’s client contact occurs at various points in the organization. For this reason it is critical in a family business that we focus on the selling culture. The more we can ensure behaviors which are consistent with the culture we desire to reflect the better customer experience we can create. As we examine all of the customer touch-points we can identify areas of alignment and misalignment. This correlates perfectly with the “culture hacking” precept which has previously been discussed.

You might have amazing customer service. You could be the leading provider of cutting edge technology. You may have an amazing Web presence. It’s possible that you have the world’s most compelling value proposition. But if your revenue-generating sales team isn’t reaching its potential, here are some key actions which can help your company to create a more effective client-centric culture:

1. Listen and Learn. I am not telling you to interrupt people when you hear them speaking with clients (internal or external) in a way that makes you grind your teeth. Listen, learn and discuss this with the rest of your leadership behind closed doors. People tend to change their behavior when Mommy or Daddy are watching and this does not give us a clear vision of the true culture.

2. Focus on Language. Help people to learn the right language. I’m not talking about proper grammar but rather the language of the client. Speaking in terms of what is most important to them.

3. Drive results. Customer relationships are built on common perceptions and shared values not just numbers and deliverables. So look at all the results. Certainly the numbers are a pre-requisite and all that count at the end of the day but “getting there” requires us to modify our focus to the small wins that happen with every person in every department, every day.

4. Trim the tree. We all know the negative impact that just one team member with a bad attitude or poor behavior can have over the rest of the team. Putting aside HR laws which we of course need to comply with don’t prolong the inevitable. Let people go free to pursue a career where they will be happier and more productive. That might mean higher turnover but that is better than threatening the culture which impacts the lives of ALL the employees and clients.

5. Elevate self worth. Recognition is important to everyone. Yet employees battle fear and rejection every single day. From customers, other team members, vendors and even their leaders.  If you want them to produce you need to promote how honorable and noble their work is throughout your organization. In your talk and demeanor, elevate the importance of the client-centric function to all the departments in the organization.

8. Build training and coaching into the culture. Training and coaching should be a consistent process in the organization, not a once or twice per year event. It’s your company’s job to give your people the tools and training they need to succeed in customer interactions as well as other function. Sales cultures have well-defined systems to help their people grow, learn and achieve. This is especially important for new hires but you also need to have some way to deliver on-going advanced sales training ideas for your entire sales team.

9. Enmesh self- accountability into the culture. Believe it or not, most people need and welcome regular accountability. Spending regular one-on-one time with your people not only gives you a chance to mentor and train with them; it shows that what they do is important and that you care about their success. Part of the reason why coaching has become so popular in recent years is because companies are stretched thin by tight budgets and managers are not able to spend enough individual time with their people so they seek outside reinforcement.

Depending upon who you listen to unemployment is 8% or 12% and some even say 20% when we consider those who’ve stopped seeking work.

Then why is it so hard to recruit good people?

NO NEED TO READ FURTHER – Listen to My Podcast

We hire people based on their job history but we fire them when we find out who they are.
Over my twenty-plus years of business consulting experience I have observed thousands of employee hires. I have personally interviewed and made recommendations on hundreds of candidates in every industry and company culture imaginable. I have yet to discover that candidates with the best experience and job history make the best employees. I have seen those with NO experience, industry knowledge, formal training or relevant work history beat the pants over those with the experience..

Why?

Because merely having the experience, work history and job knowledge does not mean you possess the attitudes, behaviors and discipline necessary to excel. On the other hand if you have the attitudes, behaviors and discipline you are open to learn all you need to know. In short success is not based upon WHAT we know but rather WHO we are.

I am not saying that work experience. industry knowledge and job history is meaningless. In fact possess these competencies can often mean a shorter training or acclimation period. It could make on-boarding faster. But work history will not make-up for poor attitudes, behaviors and discipline.
Even mass murders Ted Bundy and John Wayne Gacy had a great resumes. They were pillars in their community. They did all the right things except who they were in secret was evil and sinister.
While it is likely that candidates with good attitudes, habits and behaviors will usually have a good resume that’s not always the case. Life intervenes.

I am always amazed at how employers congregate to one of two extremes…
Either they are completely oblivious to candidate behaviors focusing ONLY on their work experience and job duties or they hold candidate’s to unrealistic behavioral requirements which even they themselves fail to satisfy!

How about being realistic.

Sometimes when I’m listening to employers Yammer on about the kind of candidates they want to hire I think… even I myself wouldn’t qualify!

So is you are in the recruitment process begin to think differently about the human capital you are recruiting. Think attitudes, behaviors and discipline more so than industry experience, job knowledge and work history.

Listen to My Podcast

One of the most common questions I get as a business consultant is; “how can I motivate my people?”

I shudder at the thought of how much business I have lost when I answer this question with, “You really can’t.”

Yikes!

Surely as business leaders we need to find a way to help our people to give their best. Let’s face it, that is good for the company, the clients, co-workers and even for their families. But how can we “motivate” to give their best? When I say, “we can’t” what I really mean is that typical motivation methods just don’t work.

Science has proven over and over again that typical motivational tools, like; incentives and rewards, in most cases, don’t produce better results. In fact most of these studies show that the higher the reward, the worse the performance. (For those of you, who might doubt this, please check out my attributions, listed below. This is a well proven fact and correlated in numerous studies.)

Now if we are speaking of a simple repetitive task, yes, a consistent reward will produce predictable results. But for cognitive, higher functioning tasks and responsibilities, typical motivating tactics will fail every time. So if you want anything other than repetitive, manual labor, if you want analytical, creative or decision-oriented work, rewards can actually backfire.

Ultimately rewards just motivate people to, well… get the Reward!  When the rewards go away, the motivation ends. Makes sense right?

Engaged, sustained, higher level performance does not occur by manipulating others through incentives, contests or rewards. It is less about “what people GET” and more about “How people FEEL.” Motivation is not a mathematical calculation it is rather an emotional mindset. Now I do need to add that this doesn’t relieve us from paying competitive wages and benefits. If you fail to do that, no motivation methods (emotional or otherwise) will work.

Here are some basic tips on how you can create an environment where people FEEL motivated. When I say “create and environment” I’m not talking about office amenities like; a pool table, snack bar, gourmet coffee cart and dimly-lit conversational pit! I’m speaking of the “emotional environment which we create.”

1. Stop Bribing People – I once had a client who summed-up motivation like this; “Their motivation is their salary!” Hmm, not too successful. Honestly though most motivators, incentives or rewards are nothing more than bribes. Paying people well is important but I have often witnessed that continued pay hikes, bonuses and freebies actually result in lower performance. They amount to nothing more than entitlements. That is getting something for just showing-up. Any compensation increases need to be directly linked to outcomes in terms of both behavior and performance. The goal of the leader in terms of motivation is to incite a behavioral change which has a dramatic impact on performance. We can’t change someone’s behavior but THEY CAN! The idea is to create the kind feels that make them decide to change.

2. Create the Right Feelings – We often think of the workplace as less emotional, more formal and serious. But it doesn’t have to be that way. People are motivated about something they feel strongly about more so than money. Dan Pink, an expert in motivation says that “for complex tasks we are more motivated by the need for purpose, mastery and autonomy.” As leaders we can leverage this by helping our people to “feel good” about their role, responsibilities and accomplishments. This also promotes creativity and teamwork. If you consider this, it is diametrically opposed to the carrot and the stick. Dale Carnegie said to “give people a fine reputation to live-up-to and they might surprise you in the end”

3. Encourage Progress – Sometimes the reaching the destination is over-rated. Help people to reflect on what they have accomplished SO FAR. Persistent people spend twice as long thinking about their accomplishments. In this super-speedy, techno-crazed blur of a society, the thing they crave most is sincere, honest recognition. There’s no time for that soft, mushy stuff right? Now I’m NOT talking about incentives, rewards and gifts, I am speaking of a “good word” when deserved. It is amazing how powerful this can be. Send a written note. Yea like with a pen and paper. You remember those? Life satisfaction is 22% more likely for those with a steady stream of accomplishments (Orlick 1998).
Remember that people are engaged and motivated with “why” we do things more so than “what” we do says Simon Senek, author of Start with Why. Think of Martin Luther King’s, I Have a Dream, or John F. Kennedy’s, “It’s not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country.”

No one performs at optimal performance when they are being nagged. I hope these tips will help you to lead and manage with great creativity, sensitivity and produce better outcomes.

Here’s my story which I hope creates a feeling for you and spurs you to take action. I am part of a fundraising group here in Redondo Beach and our aim is to refurbish our children’s library. They have outdated computers, worn furniture and walls that need paint. We are raising $30,000 to improve the environment to motivate kids to learn. I’d like to ask for your help. If everyone who is reading this donated $10 we would exceed our goal. So how about it? Skip a few Starbucks this week and help some kids learn. Donate at www.parsonsprojectforkids.com

Thank You

Mark Deo
mark@markdeo.com
310-963-1145

Attributions: Time Article (http://time.com/53748/how-to-motivate-people-4-steps-backed-by-science/), TED Talk, The Puzzle of Motivation Dan Pink – http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_pink_on_motivation?language=en, Study by Bashaw and Grant 1994, Orlick 1998 Study of Satisfaction, Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Simon Sinek, Start with Why.

Julia slumped across her desk, head in hands staring at the pile of work she just received. She was wondering how she was going to distribute all of it to her staff who already felt overworked.

The holidays were rapidly approaching and she could already hear their comments at the upcoming staff meeting. Bob, one of her supervisors and most productive employees would roll his eyes and tell her he would not be working any overtime and he would not be cancelling or changing his vacation. She knew that Bob’s wife coordinated her vacation with him as well as the vacations of their children. So getting more hours from Bob would be impossible. In addition she did not feel it was worth threatening their rapport and good working relationship in order to simply get him to put in a few more hours.

Audrey was her most experienced and knowledgeable employee but was rather resistant to change and wasn’t exactly the best at getting along with other people or working together with other departments. Audrey worked best when she worked alone. Surely Audrey could take on some of the work but Julia knew that doing so might make her even more temperamental than she currently was. There certainly would be some complaints from other department managers as well as other employees. Again, in Julia’s mind, upsetting the “Audrey applecart” was not worth the effort to attempt to delegate this additional work.

She also knew if Bob and Audrey (her best people) were resistant in taking on additional work, certainly the rest of the staff, who followed their lead, would not be willing. She could do as she had done before and distribute the work evenly among all of the members of her staff but it just ended up resulting in more errors and duplicate work than was practical. Often times the employees would go to Audrey and Bob for help anyway. Her last attempt at doing so almost called the departmental mutiny.

Sadly, Julia felt the best way to handle this new pile of work was to get it done herself. But she also knew she would have to cancel her holiday plans which would greatly disappoint her family. Not to mention the fact that this wasn’t very good leadership.

How do you think Julia should deal with this situation?

Maybe it sounds familiar. I will be collecting responses and next week I will be delivering another email with the best suggestions and my advice in how to deal with this kind of issue.

Skylar and Sheena were sisters and they both owned similar businesses which seemed to be valued at nearly identical levels. Each of the sister’s had desired to sell their business for an amount of money which would easily finance a comfortable retirement for themselves and their families. The had about the same business model, prospects for growth, intellectual equity, resources, head count and cash reserves. Yet the leadership style of the sisters were quite different.

Skylar was in the office every day. She had control over every variable of the business. Nothing happened without her knowledge and approval.

Like Sheena, she had two Sales Reps, but Skylar was always the person to negotiate the deals with critical clients. She oversaw contact with investors and business partners. She would direct the marketing initiatives. She ensured that customer service was timely and accurate. She kept a watch over production daily. She was involved in leading and managing every aspect of the business right on down to who would assume new responsibilities and how they would do so.

While Skylar appointed three managers for sales, administration and production, all decisions would filter through her before implementation. Whenever there was a question or someone wanted to move forward on something they all knew to discuss it with Skylar FIRST before ANY action was taken. Skylar even led all the meetings with employees. She felt this level of “oversight” was necessary for clear communication, good resource management and smooth operations. Skylar believed it was the key to her success and would someday pay-off big when it was time to sell the company. She had a well-oiled machine!

Sheena on the other hand was quite different. She only spent 3 or 4 days in the office and often worked from home. Whenever someone asked her a question she would typically defer it to someone else to answer. Occasionally she would visit clients with one of her two Sales Reps yet she spoke very little at these meetings. She would attend employee meetings but rarely led them. Sheena also established leaders for sales, administration and production who did most of the decision making and merely kept Sheena informed. Many times employees would just start a new initiative on their own and work with other employees to implement these changes, Sheena coached her managers to allow employees to enjoy this freedom. Even though several times these initiatives failed and consumed some resources. Sheena felt this was still OK. She spent more of her time just encouraging, listening and congratulating her team. She was very cordial but to many observers, it looked like Sheena was somewhat disconnected from her business operations. It seemed that “the tail was wagging the dog” at her company.

One day a private equity firm came along to evaluate both Sheena’s business as well Skylar’s. This was the moment each of the sister’s had been waiting for… PAYDAY!

The private equity offered to buy Sheena’s business outright for 12 million dollars (FOUR times her current level of sales).

They decided to PASS on making an offer to Skylar for her business as they did not feel it was worth much to them.

Skylar was furious. How could this arrogant private equity firm value her sister’s business at four times the current sales yet feel that Skylar’s business was worth nothing?

What do you think the private equity firm told Skylar?

I am dying to hear your answers.  Remember other than their style of leadership EVERYTHING about these businesses were the same.

Email me at mark@markdeo.com or better yet leave your comment here.

Mark Deo
310-963-1145
www.markdeo.com

A while back I had to do something we all abhor… get a root canal. I say we all abhor getting a root canal because I’ve never heard anyone say they enjoyed it. It is at the very least uncomfortable,  inconvenient and expensive. At worse it’s extremely painful.

A root canal has become synonymous with doing something you really would prefer NOT to do! As in, “I’d rather get a root canal than speak with Mark Deo.” (A little self-depreciating humor there).
Yet I have discovered something good about a root canal. I am FORCED to shut-up! And not just shut-up but to actually listen.

So there I am sitting or lying in this rather humiliating position in the dental chair at the endodontist office, who happens to be a friend. He is droning-on about some specific problems he’s having (This is the downside of having a friend as your endodontist.) It is at this point I realize I actually have a perfect solution for his troubles.

Yet it is impossible for me to tell him due to my mouth being stuffed with; a suction device, dental dam, wads of cotton, various bits of metal, plastic and what feels like all twenty of his and his assistants fingers. I can only emit a deep guttural groan which I decide NOT to do because it might sound like a wounded animal or an ungrateful, onerous patient of which I am both.

Suddenly to my utter surprise he begins to articulate the very solution which I had been planning to tell him. Wow! How could this be? Hearing my own thoughts coming out of HIS mouth started me kicking my feet and waving my hands. I look up at him with big pleading eyes like a harp seal about to be beat over the head with a Louisville Slugger. He looks down at me as if I was a 5 year-old, “it’s OK, we’re almost done.”

Could it be that my higher (yet reticent) level of listening allowed him to work this out for himself? Hmmm… isn’t this what a coach is supposed to do?

So this listening thing, which I preach about all the time, actually works! Imagine that.
After all the various objects are removed from my distended mouth he proceeds to thank me for helping him work out a solution to his problem. You really are a great coach, he tells me. I swallow my pride because my jaw hurts too much to speak anyway from all the hardware that has been jammed in it.

I high-tailed it out of that office learning something yet again by keeping my mouth shut.
My next stop… the dental supply store to get some hardware of my own.